We are all creatures of habit! Some of us can roll out of bed with our eyes closed and hit the alarm, turn on the light and throw the covers back without opening our eyes. We as humans have set up our lives to be consistent and constant. There is a since of pride in knowing our lives are predictable and easily managed. Knowing this makes us feel secure, safe and in control. If our personal system is disrupted in any form we are thrown into an emotional spin. If there is anything which intimates us it is Change.
Change can be untidy, not neat, and ugly therefore causes us to experience fear on a deep level. As we deal with change, it can cause us to be full of anxiety, anger, frustration because we have to be vulnerable and being so emotionally raw is uncomfortable to the human psyche. Why? Because, when this occurs we are forced to deal with loss, and a new way of living our daily lives.
The anxiety around change does not have to be around something negative, it could be a new career, a new relationship, a new baby, the completion of a big project. It is not the value of change but change itself which drives us crazy as human beings. To some people, change is a motivator and an indicator of something grand and divine is about to happen. How is it that some people can roll with the punches and others hit a brick wall? Do they have something special or unique? Is there a secret formula?
Before, we begin to answer those questions let us look at five major areas of our lives which change clearly disrupts.
1. Career
2. Relationships
3. Family
4. Health
5. Money
Of course, I could list thousands but these I believe are the big ones. We can all raise our hands if we are asked if we have experienced any of those listed. If we are honest many of us had challenges adapting to the change because we did not have the necessary tools and skills to empower ourselves. So, lets go back and revisit the questions around how others adapt and we can not. There is no secret formula, the one thread of continuity we can find in those who have thrived in the face of change is the way, they responded to the situation. They re-imagined this experience through the lens of something good is coming my way on the other side of this season of change.
To re-imagine this, is not easy to do, when you are faced with loss or pain. The pain and the emotions can cloud your mind and your ability to think and stay centered during this time. So, no, it is not easy or a easy walk to think brighter and bigger during any amount of change but it can be done.
For instance, take Peyton Manning, the championship Super Bowl quarterback who has had a stellar career which dates back when he was at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville. He was drafted to the Indiana Colts, won a Super Bowl and had major endorsement deals. One year on top of the world the next season, one hit changed his football career. He was forced to deal with the change of his body, the loss of games during the season and the rumors of perhaps he has seen his better playing days. After experiencing this, he was traded for a younger quarter back during the off season. Peyton was traded to another team and was dealt an emotional blow. He stood there with the Indiana Colt’s logo as a back drop to announce he was leaving and wanted to thank everyone for their support. This superstar was forced to move and start a new journey. He could have resisted or just retired but now he is looking forward to working with the Denver Broncos and continuing his stellar career. Peyton Manning, re-framed changed and made it work for him and those around him. You can do the same.
So, ask yourself what does this mean? Does it have to be negative, can I rethink this and see the good in the situation. Is what I am doing working for me in the highest way? What does it come to teach me if I just let go? What can I do to take the sting out of this experience?
Like, anything else, it takes a certain skill to navigate change and life. It is up to you to master this and make it work for you. By applying these steps below you can move in and through change with ease and with grace.
I Speak Life Coaching Checklist
1. Allow yourself to work through the emotions you are feeling.
2. Create community, tell someone about this experience.
3. Reimagine change and use it as a positive and not a negative.
4. Use your memory as a yardstick; your life’s wisdom can help you.
5. Resist nothing, allow it to come forth.
6. Embrace, Adapt, Adjust and allow the lessons to come forward.
Article By: David Shawn Smith
